CHILD BRIDE (1938) Tonight we have finally uncovered a film so inherently evil, even WE had to censor it: from a world which believes that ten year old fruit are ripe for the plucking comes the 1938 Child Bride.

“We aim neither to ridicule nor defend their way of living.” So begins one of the most hateful examples of hicksploitation from 1938, posing as a plea to outlaw child marriage amongst hillbillies – the po’ White Trash huddled in mountain communities far away from civilization’s disapproving gaze.

Popular culture had just discovered these modern primitives with their own customs, a black economy founded on moonshine – yep, these people are dirt poor, with an emphasis on the dirt, and according to Child Bride’s litany of cliches, a simple-minded goat milkin’, wife beatin’, infant lovin’ folk emitting a stink worse than the charred, piled-up remains of Lil’ Abner, Ma and Pa Kettle and the Beverly Hillbillies combined. At least those folk were cheerfully innocent rubes that even the most unimaginative city drones could feel superior to; no, Child Bride’s cast of miscreants are truly ugly people living in a squalid hellhole that God, in His infinite wisdom, has chosen to forsake.